Being Green R1
by Wyndlocke
Summary: Collectors aren't the only thing on Shepard's mind when fate has him meet up with a familiar face. Revised version of Being Green. Read this one for continued updates...!
1. Homecoming

" _Maybe sometime, when I'm not organizing the colony and you're not… doing whatever you do."_

With a scoff, she downed the last of her drink.

"Yeah, _maybe_ ," she muttered, bitter.

She had come to Illium with the objective of negotiating with Baria Frontiers. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined meeting up with the famous commander again. The last she had heard of Shepard, the commander had perished when the Normandy was destroyed. Clearly this wasn't the case. That aside, the woman would've never expected the commander to assist her in reassessing the –invasive– terms of Zhu's Hope medical contract. Negotiations had been slow and frustrating, yet the commander resolved the situation seemingly without effort. Where the asari had been tearing her crest off in frustration, the human showed calmness and restraint. And she succeeded, just like then.

It had been three years since the day she had first met Shepard. But it all felt like yesterday. Whenever she closed her eyes, the human's face always came to mind. She could never forget her. Regret festered in the asari's heart when she had heard of the human soldier's apparent demise. She had never even had the chance to thank her for everything she had done, but not only for her: Shepard had saved the colony of Zhu's Hope –on Feros– from destruction. She had fought off the invading Geth, a race of synthetics hell-bent on the destruction of organics. And the commander hadn't stopped there. She had fought with fierce determination to free the colonists from the warped control of the Thorian; a sentient plantlike life form. And, again, she had prevailed.

The creature, a sprawl of sensorial tendrils, had needed caretakers to perform tasks alone itself was unable to. Indiscriminate in its choice of thralls, anything with the capability of inhaling its spores held the potential of being the Thorian's slave. The colonists of Zhu's Hope were the first misfortunate of this cycle. In her time with the Thorian, she had come to understand that the being was ancient at best. It witnessed both the rise and fall of the Prothean Empire. And who knows of how many other species before them. The creature would wake at irregular intervals from prolonged periods of hibernation, frantically working to cater to its needs, acquiring various slaves, and then rest again, signifying the end of a cycle. This cycle had been no different, other than it was its last.

Through telepathy, it issued commands to those infected with its spores, and forced them to obey, less were they to be overcome by intense waves of pain. The colony's previous leader, Fai Dan, had committed suicide in a last ditch attempt to wrestle the Thorian for control of his own mind. Shepard had been unable to save him. But amidst the chaos of it all, killing the Thorian, saving the colonists, she had spared her… She had no reason to.

With every intention of freeing the colonists, Shepard had entered the Thorian's lair. Nothing would've nor could've stopped the commander. To say the human was disgusted to see the asari used as envoy was an understatement. She had thought of the Thorian as an aberration; a flagrant insult to the commander and all she stood for; _choice_. The asari could remember the Thorian's weariness of the commander's rage. Not exactly fear, as it was hard to put anything from her time with the Thorian into words. But the creature was wary of the human's transparency about her feelings.

Empty glass in hand, the asari stared at her faint reflection at the bottom of the glass. She could make out the silhouette of her crest, a dull green blur. She motioned for the bartender to pour her another drink. The turian snuck out yet another bottle from under the counter. It had easily been the fourth time she had requested his services. But he asked no questions. He showed not even the slightest bit of curiosity. He was completely indifferent to the asari, or rather was so to her pigmentation. This relieved the asari more than she thought it could.

As a clear, unknown liquid filled her glass, her reflection morphed into nothing more than a green smudge.

' _The Thorian_ ,' she thought, chugging her drink with fervor. More memories of her time with it emerged. From before she met –and subsequently fought– Shepard. And the bartender filled her glass again.

In some ways, it had been pleasant. Her existence prior was bleak in comparison. Out of all her life experiences, none even came close to it. Everything the creature knew, Shiala knew. Everything the creature had experienced, felt, thousands upon thousands of years… all of it had become as much a part of Shiala as of the Thorian. And although not inherently evil, she couldn't help but _hate_ it. She hated what it had done to those colonists, and to those before her time. The asari hated what she had done for the Thorian. But most of all, she hated what she had turned into.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be, ma'am?" It was the turian bartender said. Surely it was his way of letting her know she'd had plenty enough to drink already.

Shiala looked at her omni-tool. Blinking slowly, she tried to make sense of the writing. The shuttle –if she was reading the time correctly– would be leaving soon enough. With a soft sigh, she thanked the turian before leaving.

She tried shaking off the alcohol-induced fogginess but to no avail. At least she could still walk in a fairly straight line. Or that's what it felt like anyway.

"Goddess…" A sickness was rising in her chest. She took deep breathes, pulling out her omni-tool again. She entered keys from memory, opening up the map of the docks. Squinting, she could make out her location and a path up to the restroom. Her breath was coming in short rapid bursts. It felt like her heart was about to jump out of her chest. With as much dignity as she could muster, she rushed off to the ladies'.

Luckily she was alone. It was embarrassing enough as it was. She hadn't drunk so much since her maiden years. In retrospect, it seemed very foolish of her to think she possessed the same threshold as then. After a lighter stomach, and a clearer state of mind, Shiala cleaned herself up. The shuttle wasn't about to wait for her.

Despite herself, Shiala looked around the docks for any sign of the human commander. What she would give to see her again… The asari closed her eyes, and willed her thoughts into another direction. It would do her no good to linger on the commander any longer than she already had.

Her thoughts were interrupted as a voice came on the coms, stating her shuttle had started boarding passengers.

The ride home would prove to be a long way. Pretty out in the middle of nowhere, Feros wasn't close to any shipping lanes. She'd have to make contact with the colony once she was within range for pickup. Shiala tried her hardest to go unnoticed by the other passengers. The last thing she wanted was for them to strike up conversation about her pigmentation. But mostly, she realised, it was she didn't want to give away the fact she had been drinking. Despite the fact that even at her best she was hardly conversational, the green asari didn't trust herself in her current state to keep quiet about the commander, for better or for worse.

The small shuttle held a crew of a dozen or so passengers, herself included. To her surprise, most kept to themselves. With her head pounding, she wanted nothing more than to sleep, and welcomed the silence graciously.

It wasn't long before Shiala heard the pilots initiating docking procedures with a larger transport freighter. To the asari's surprise, the captain was feeling charitable and was willing to bring her as far out as the Hercules system, once the other passengers would've all debarked. From there, she could contact Zhu's Hope and arrange passage home.

 _Home_.

It felt strange thinking of the colony as such. While certainly not her first choice for retirement, Shiala owed it to the colonists to help rebuild Zhu's Hope. And whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not, she had grown fond of them. Besides, having joined Saren along with Matriarch Benezia, and branded as a traitor for it, she had little other decent choices. Her new life was much more relaxing than her days as a commando, but kept her busy all the same. She couldn't help but smile as the revisited contract came back to mind. Perhaps things would look up again, even if only once more.

It didn't take Ledra long to reach the rendezvous point with Shiala. The salarian had taken it upon himself to bring the asari up to date. Like others of his kind, his mind raced, and the words that he spoke sometimes bordered gibberish because he tried to explain too many things at once. While the asari appreciated his effort, she confessed to herself she would've much preferred a written report.

When they finally made it back to the colony, Shiala made a beeline for her quarters, cutting Ledra's extensive report short to his dismay, though she paid him little heed after that observation. Despite the professional business-like attitude she generally showed off, she was exhausted. The last thing she needed was to have to deal with anybody else. Ledra had somehow managed to drain her of what little she had left. To her relief most of the colonists were too busy sleeping to pay her return any heed.

With a soft groan, the doors to her quarters slid open. While modest in size, the small storage chamber was what she called home. The colonists were using Ledra's larger merchant class ship as living quarters ever since the Geth attacked. But despite the less than favourable circumstances leading to the colonists relocating, Shiala had never been more relieved to see a bed in her life. With an impatient huff, she kicked off her boots. She unzipped her suit and let it pool at her ankles before gingerly stepping the rest of the way out. With a heavy sigh, she fell face first on her bed. It had been a long trip. A few minutes passed in silence before she let out a painful groan; she remembered the colony's council meeting was scheduled for tomorrow. She hadn't intended being able to make it back to the colony in time.

Before long however Shiala felt the lures of sleep tugging at her consciousness. Everything faded away, only darkness kept her company; the quiet and the calm, even her own breath tickling her face stealthily left her senses.

 _They come. Their warmth spreads through the air. They are not like the cold ones. They are of ilk to the other. They too intrude with their profane individuality._

" _Invaders, your every step are a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meat: good only to dig or decompose. I speak for the Old Growth as I did for Saren. You are within and before the Thorian. It commands that you be in awe!"_

 _Discourse has begun. Will they lie as the other? Are they of the same mettle as the cold ones?_

" _You enslaved the colonists, you destroyed their minds. I don't know what Saren wanted with you, but I just want you dead."_

" _The Thorian is a piece of this world; extending across the land and back through the ages. You can no more kill it than cut the sky. No more will the Thorian listen to those that scurry. Your lives are short, but have gone on too long already. Your blood will feed the ground and the new growth!"_

With a gasp, Shiala shot out of bed. Her heart was hammering. She looked around wildly. But she was alone. She was always alone, in darkness.

The asari brought her knees to her chest, hugging them tightly as small sobs slowly inched their way past her lips.

The sun was leaking through the blinds of her makeshift lodging. Morning had once again come too soon. Shiala hadn't gotten much sleep. Memories from her time with the Thorian were frequently bleeding through into her dreams. Invading her thoughts when she was her most vulnerable was taking its toll on the asari. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep up the act. Eventually, someone was bound to notice her irregular sleeping habits manifesting themselves physically.

But until then, Shiala would trudge on, shrugging off the discomfort. Her debts would be paid, no matter the cost. She'd had managed working on fumes before, during her time as a commando. She would do so again if that's all it took. Despite her general outlook on the matter, she couldn't quiet that voice in the back of her mind. For a while she'd paid it no heed, dismissing it as paranoia or noises. It didn't take long after she'd first noticed it for her to realise its abnormality however. She would catch herself listening to it for hours sometimes. Staring at nothing, taking in the soothing whispers; she knew it wasn't normal. But it was comforting. And whenever she thought she could make out what it was telling her, she would dream of the Thorian.

How the two were connected, she wasn't sure. She could only speculate the nature of the whispers as the remnants of her indoctrination at Sovereign's hands. Whatever control the Thorian had once had over her, seemingly cut off her link with the Reaper. At least, while the creature was alive it did. Now that it was gone, she could hear Saren and Sovereign again. But whenever they threatened her mind, whatever was left of the Thorian in her mind would reset the connection it seemed. While she held no doubt of her own mental fortitude, she knew her indoctrination was never debilitating thanks to whatever the Thorian did to her. And for that, she was grateful.

It disgusted Shiala that her indoctrination was only kept in check by another form of it. In her darker moments, she questioned her ability to be of help to anyone. But she had to discard those thoughts. If she gave in to them, then, and only then, was she truly lost and beyond redemption. She swore to herself that day would never come.

The asari snapped out of her reverie as a hand came slamming down on the desk in front of her.

"I'm sorry if this bores you, but know that this is very important!"

Shiala blinked a few moments, chasing her thoughts away, all the while straining to maintain her composure. She had no idea how she'd gotten to where she was. But with a quick glance around her, she recognised the council chambers.

With a long intake of breath, Shiala stole a glance at her omni-tool. The meeting had started some two hours ago already. She breathed out a heavy sigh, expertly masking her surprise.

"We've been going over the same point for hours and have yet to come to a resolution. I suggest a temporary recess for us to gather our thoughts and start again with fresher minds. I believe it would do us all some good," she said in a soft voice, ignoring the raging man in front of her.

Her proposition was met with a series of nods, and a hard glare from Ethan Jeong. The man had never been very supportive of progress, as much as he claimed otherwise. It seemed all he ever did was stir the pot. However, representing ExoGeni - the corporation funding the colony - his word carried the most weight in their weekly meetings. Shiala was particularly wary of him, as he had been one of those that allowed the continued existence of Zhu's Hope above the Thorian's lair. He had identified the inherent danger, and hadn't cared, opting to hide behind the corporation's banner, escaping all possible liability.

Shiala wasn't fond of cowards. And she liked the man even less today. With a rough first night, he certainly wasn't wasting time in making her life more difficult than she desired even if she hadn't been paying much attention to what he had been saying. She reviewed the council's daily overview for an idea of what was discussed.

After a brief review of the revisited contract, the council's meeting had taken to discussing the colony's electrical expenditure. According to Jeong, they were overzealous when it came to power consumption. He wanted to impose stricter policies regarding its usage until a more stable system could be implemented. Despite Shiala's dislike of the man, he had a point and they needed to be careful not to overtax the generators, little more than salvage at this point. They were still running on the fixes commander Shepard had provided all those years ago. ExoGeni had been stonewalling them for years. Despite their façade of taking care of the colony's most immediate concerns, they made little to no move to spend more money on it than they had to.

The truth of it all was that they could do little more than cross their fingers and hope Ledra would find better quality generators soon.

With a sigh, Shiala called for the meeting to resume. It was best to simply get things over with.

The sun had set already by the time the meeting was adjourned. Shiala's eyes were heavy. Her back was sore, and she could feel an incredible stiffness in her shoulders. It seemed rather obvious now why she never chose a desk job.

The way home at least, was quiet and soothing.

She didn't even have the energy to take off her clothes, instead opting to collapse on her bed as soon as she crossed the threshold of her abode.

With the lights dimmed, it looked even smaller than usual. Just a room with everything crammed together, Shiala had to admit she'd done better, but also worse. Her bed took up the entire wall facing the entrance. At the end of the bed, the room opened up into the pantry, where the cleaner took up the entire space. In the middle of the room was her multipurpose desk. She used it for almost everything from working to eating and relaxing. And sometimes, even to sleep. It was free, at least.

Their community being so small, everyone did what they could to make life comfortable for all. That was more than what could be said of anywhere else she'd lived. It had its downsides at times, what with ExoGeni and Jeong, but it also had its perks. At the end of the day, all they had was each other. She'd gladly lay her life on the life for any of the people who lived here. And she knew they'd do the same.

Maybe having a home wasn't so bad after all.


	2. Ellana

Commander Ellana Shepard didn't have many people she could call friends. Nor did she want any. Though, the few she did often make, despite her outlook, left in some way or another. She learned the lesson young; people enter and leave your life without a care in the world. Some, she recognised, did not leave by choice. But she also realised those weren't the times that hurt the most either.

With a heavy heart, the human commander caressed the flickering face on the holopad. The asari had reluctantly accepted the photograph to be taken, her blush told as much. She remembered with a soft smile Liara's reaction to the first time the commander mentioned taking one.

" _Shepard, this is hardly professional..."_

" _Nothing we do is professional Ms. T'Soni,"_ Shepard mocked with a matter-of-factly tone.

Liara's embarrassment only pushed Shepard to go to greater lengths to get what she wanted. The asari tried to convince Shepard to delete the picture once taken, to which Shepard said, dropping her teasing tone:

" _Are you kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in the whole galaxy. And nothing could ever convince me otherwise."_

And nothing ever had. But neither had anything hurt Shepard as much as losing Liara. The hole she left burned coldly, nulling all the happiness seeing her face again brought. With this newfound emptiness, other memories she thought long buried came flooding back.

" _There's no such thing as defeat or mistakes, Shepard, there's only learning and improving,"_ she remembered her father prattling on as he always did. _"Keep your head held high, kiddo. That is, if you're brave and strong enough to."_

But what was bravery in the face of death? What was there to learn in having your last breath stolen from your lungs? Nothing her father taught her ever prepared her for death – especially not her own.

Her father hadn't been a bad man. But he never stopped being a soldier even after marrying her mother and settling down on Mindoir. He'd lain out Ellana's life the moment her mother had become pregnant with her. Despite their new life, he expected a military career out of her, and a boy. Having had a girl was an embarrassment; something he needed to make right. And he'd be damned if he wouldn't make something great out of Ellana.

Calling her "Shepard" or "Recruit" was his way of forgetting who she was. Ellana only realised this later of course. It had been fun at first. The name calling, the training and the sparring, each were introduced as games. They were, after all, the rare moments her father ever spent with her. Her mother was quiet, and rarely voiced her discomfort at the idea of James Shepard training their only daughter. He often gave the excuse that it was just fun and games, leaning on Ellana to say the same.

During her teen years, her father's focus seemed different to her. Or maybe her view of him changed. Late at night, she'd hear her mother whisper worriedly to her father, though the whispers often ended in yelling and the soft sound of a slap, followed by a door slamming, and broken sobs in suite. Growing up she paid little heed to these events. They had become routine, normal parts of her life. Besides, whenever she questioned her father about it, his training became much more gruelling.

One day, when she was old enough to understand what her father was, she'd promised herself to protect her mother.

" _You lay a hand on Mom again and I swear to God,"_ she remembered threatening him. It was the first time he'd ever laid a hand on her.

" _You'll what? Beat me? You don't know shit. After all I've done for you… You still don't get it? You think being a soldier is fun and games? Or that idealistic garbage the vids spout? Doing the right thing? No, Shepard, it's about making the tough choices no one's willing to. Like raising you right."_

 _Ellana flung herself at her father then. He sidestepped her easily, burying his fist in her gut. Something gleamed in his eyes then. But in an instant it was gone as his boot connected where his fist had been moments earlier. It lasted hours. By the end, she thought she'd never be able to eat again._

" _Your mother is weak, Shep. Don't stick around her so much. You're catching it, too." He said it while wiping his bloodied knuckles with a tissue in disgust. "Here." He dropped the ruined cloth on her face. "Clean yourself up. You're a disgrace."_

She didn't even have the energy left to cry. It felt like forever until she was able to move again. She thought to herself that it had to stop. For her, for her mother; her father was dangerous. But when she confronted her mother, it was then that she realised how right he really was.

" _Listen to your father; he knows what's best for you."_

" _What?" Came Ellana's baffled response. "Have you seen yourself lately?" She yelled, disbelieving._

" _This is nothing Ellana…" her mother said softly, unconsciously touching her bruises. "Have you been playing with the boys again?" She asked when she finally looked at Ellana for the first time._

" _Mom… Dad did this to me…"_

 _The room went quiet for a few seconds until her mother got up. Ellana hung her head low, embarrassed by her own weakness. Her mother put her fingers on her chin, raising her gaze to meet hers. Her mother's lip was quivering, and tears were threatening to spill._

" _How could you…" She whispered. What came next, would puzzle and torment Ellana for years._

 _Her mother slapped her._

" _You need to mind your own business Ellana Shepard. If I_ ever _catch you provoking your father again… I'll…" She never finished her sentence before bursting into tears. She turned and ran out the door. It would be the last she ever saw of her mother._

Shepard had never been so angry in her life. But more so, she was disappointed and ashamed.

A bittersweet taste filled Shepard's mouth, and she noticed she'd been chewing her lip for the past several minutes. She padded her bottom lip with her thumb in thought, stopping the blood. A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth at the automated motion. She remembered Liara always getting on her case for chewing her lips. Her blue lover had always been keen to mention how lush and plump the commander's lips were. She would stare at them at length, especially when she thought Shepard wasn't looking.

 _Her pale blue eyes stared intently into hers. She'd been so reserved and timid before; so controlled, but not now; bare, fiery passion set loose. Their lips crashed against each other's. They'd been waiting so long to admit how they truly felt, to share one another._

 _Liara took the next step, frantically fighting her way out of her lab coat. Her progress was slow as she was frequently interrupted by kisses._

 _The commander's heart was hammering by the time Liara had finished stripping. She was even more beautiful than she could have ever imagined. Liara was brimming with a confidence she'd never seen her with as Shepard's eyes devoured every inch of her. Liara crossed her legs slightly, coy, blocking the commander's view of below. Shepard bit her lower lip excitedly. She was about to pounce on the asari before she was pushed back onto the bed by her lover's biotics._

 _Liara was wearing a very satisfied smirk. She edged to the bed, climbing atop of the immobilised Shepard. The human's heart was racing. She'd never been in a position like this. She'd always been in control, but for once being at the complete mercy of another… it was rather exciting._

 _Her lover dropped the biotic field, and immediately pinned Shepard's arms above her head. She planted her lips on Shepard's fiercely, before trailing off; her lips kissing down her jaw, then her neck._

" _No fair," the commander whimpered uncharacteristically, arching in pleasure under Liara's attentions. The asari shot up immediately to look at Shepard, worry evident in her eyes. "You didn't say anything about being such a good kisser." Shepard reassured her with a grin. Liara giggled softly, her confidence coming back full force._

 _Shepard leaned forward, capturing Liara's lips with her own. As soon as she felt Liara's grip on her arms loosen, she turned the tables. With a surprised yelp, Liara found herself pinned beneath the commander. Straddling Liara's hips, Shepard hurriedly took off her shirt, unbuckling her belt next, tugging on her pants' waistline, before letting them rest halfway down hips provocatively._

 _Liara's eyes were darting from Shepard's chest to where her hands had stopped, in a manner saying she couldn't decide what to do next. Smirking, Shepard took Liara's hands and placed them on her breasts and made her give them a squeeze. She could tell, even in the dimly lit room, that Liara was blushing furiously now._

 _Her lover being caught up in the moment, Shepard took the moment to slide her fingers below. With an excited yelp Liara bucked her hips at the commander's sudden touch, nearly sending Shepard flying backwards in the process. She rose up and kissed the human furiously, wrapping her arms around her neck, pulling her as close as she could while Shepard continued teasing her. As Shepard increased the pace and intensity, Liara was panting heavily, squirming under her ministrations as she lay back on the bed._

 _The human lowered herself, and crawled down the asari's bare chest, lingering only for a moment before trailing the tongue down her stomach. Liara was arching off the bed by the time Shepard's tongue reached its destination. Liara, out of breath, tried desperately to say something as her fingers ran through Shepard's hair in uncontrolled pleasure. The commander could hardly make it out until finally Liara shouted..._

She gritted her teeth in frustration and threw the holopad across the room. With an angry cry she pounded her fists on the table. Teeth still clenched, she did her best to stop the shaking that was wracking her body.

"I love you too goddamn it…"


End file.
